Blazer's Journal of Foxxieness

I know I haven't posted on here for a while but I have to post after tonight. What happened is that Robbie, Zeek and me went to the gay club near here called Ozz. It's a nice small club but I went as a DD = Designated Driver and for me not wanting to drink it helped. Plus, I was being nice. So anyway while we were hanging out there. We saw Pie (not sure how to spell his name). That made the night a lot more fun. =^_^= But other than Pie showing up it was a pretty uneventful night.

It's finally my birthday! Yay! Just wish I could be with all my friends in AL to celebrate it with. =^_^=

Me and my mate Dallas had a great idea for a parody on the new ATHF episode with the bible fruits.
Near the end of the episode have the Flying Spaghetti Monster come out and smite the fruits in some way, i.e. lightning, acid, exploding, ect. After he smites the fruits he says,"Where's your god now?" and disappears. Hope you like my idea. Please respond and tell me what you think. Btw, no I don't believe in the religion, I just thought it would be really funny and I hope you think so. Also, if you don't know what the Flying Spaghetti Monster is then here is a link to help you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_spaghetti_monster

I was closing at work today and I had just finished sweeping and I was about to go help the other co-worker with mopping when a few mins later the manager that was closing with us storms in and says,"Who swept???", I replied with,"Me.", and she said back and I quote,"You suck at sweeping retard!!", she then stormed off and proceeded to sweep over what I had just finished. It really hurt. Am I a retard? It feels like it sometimes. It doesn't help that I was put into a special school because they thought I was retarded. It always hurts to think that I was put into a retarded school for no reason.

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I have good news on the subject of the sick vid with the puppy. It's already on the net news on http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,334709,00.html and I've been told that these people will be punished or at least dishonorably discharged.

I was about to go to bed when I had a thought. Can I be as cute, sexy, lovable and kind as some people think I am? I guess the fox yips and barks i do are cute and I'm kind just by my nature, but how am I sexy and lovable? I mean, I don't look all that attractive and lovable? I don't see it very well. Some people in this world say that if you look into someones eyes you can see what their personality is or by the color of their eyes tell the same thing. Well, my eyes are brown. Does that mean I'm full of shit? *chuckles* Just kidding. Anyway, it was just a thought.

I just got back from seeing the play Spamalot by Monty Python and it was actually better than the movie. For the people who liked the movie better, please don't hurt me. I like both, I just like the play better. The play was so much fun, but it was so exhausting and the drive to and from didn't help so now I'm really tired. Gonna get offa here and try to relax. Bye bye!

It got a bit better. I built up my courage and asked Haystack about the $40 and he said that if I drive him to the bank later that he'll give it to me then. I am relieved that I'll have the money to pay off my insurance, but I'm still worried about my dad because the night that I was out at the feeding frenzy and he called me. After he said "I will not help you." I hung up on him, so I'm kinda afraid that my dad will kick me out. But we'll have to see what happens. But for now I'm a little worried but much better.

It's starting to feel hopeless. The other night at the local feeding frenzy I was having a great time chatting with friends and being social. When my mom calls me on my bf's cell to talk about how I need to pay my insurance for my car which I already knew and then she hands the phone to my dad and he says that he's not gonna help me out this time and he's not gonna help me anymore. That just really put a damper on my mood. And to those of you who were at the feeding frenzy, I'm sorry if I looked all mopey but I was just trying to cheer up and be happy. There is some hope though. My friend haystack said that he would help me out by lending me $40 for my insurance, but he hasn't given it to me yet and I don't want to bug him about it because that will just make him mad. It's getting closer to the due date for my insurance and I kinda need it if I wanna get this job at Dominos as a driver and I need the job if I want more money, more money to get more insurance, to pay back Haystack, gas for my car, the list goes on and on. It just feels like I'm drowning, trying to come up for air to be pulled back down by the current of bad funk. I don't know if I should just give up or keep trying. I keep trying to get my life back on track but it just keeps derailing. Hopefully something will go right soon.

I have a bit of a problem. I have some guys that want me as there mate but I already have Dallas. I've told them this and their ok with it. But I don't feel right. I mean I love Dallas and would never leave him but I don't want to make these other guys sad, unhappy, or mad. The guys are Stormy and Ryu. They wanna be part of the Furmen family and when they said this I told them to talk to Dallas because he is the patriarch of the family but I don't what will happen or if anything will go wrong. I mean it would kinda be cool if they joined but I just don't want everybody at each others throats. I just hope everything works out.

Just decided to get on here and post before I went to bed. Just dreading going into work tomorrow because my boss is and bitch and it seems like she's only mean it me. I know she's probably not just doing it to me, but it still feels like it ya' know? But the other day, 2 days ago, it was my first day of work and they called me in at 6am! 6AM!! Why would they call me, a new person that knows nothing about McDonald's, to work the morning shift so suddenly?? I mean they could have let me know a day before but they had to call me at 10pm the night before!! And get this. When she called me in, she called my mom and told her and she told her that the reason was that to help train me better, but what my boss told me is that they called me in because someone else called in sick. It doesn't make any sense, I'm about ready to quit and it's I've only worked there one day! Well anyway, I told my bf, my friends and my mom that I would try my hardest and stay at it for another week, to see how it goes and I will. But lemme get offa here and go to bed before I'm up all night. Laters!

I'm here at my bf's still. Just sitting around and watching him play WoW when I got to thinking. Am I bugging him to much? Am I kinda being irritating by being over at his place so much? Just had to think that, because if I am I'll stop it. I just hope he's not angry or irritated from me being over here so much. I'm sure he would tell me if I was being annoying but I still feel like I'm bugging him. I mean the only reason I come over here is to be with him, well, and to get away from my dad but that's a plus. I just hope he knows that I love him and that I love being with him. Again, I just hope I'm not being annoying to him or his roomie Haystack.

Sitting here at my bf's apartment. Being my cute little foxie self, like I always love being. Relaxing and taking a break from all the madness that has been going on in the past week. It got better at least when I found out that I can fix my credit and that I might be getting a job at either Publix or Pet Smart. I'd prefer Pet Smart because if Publix hires me then I have to cut my hair and keep it above my ears and neck and I really don't want to cut my hair that much but if I have to I will. Bad news though is that my bf got fired from his job at Papa Johns but it's not a big deal. He has a job interview coming up this monday. But me, my bf Dallas, and his roommate, my friend Haystack will be boycotting Papa Johns for the way and reason they fired my baby. Go read Haystacks journal to find out what happened. Link is here: http://haystack.livejournal.com/  and the link to my bf's LJ is here: http://lone-wolf35055.livejournal.com/  Hope you will help us if you feel the same way we do. Gonna go and check my e-mail and browse the net till my bf is done on WoW. Peace. =^_^=

Now I have officially hit rock bottom. My dad decided to find out why my credit is bad, so I decided to help because he can't do anything without my info. Well, we get on there and go through the whole spiel to find out that the reason that my credit is bad is because some one is or was using all my info to get a morgage!!! WHY DOES ALL THIS SHIT KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!!!!???? And then my dad gets all pissy and blames me for this! He blames me for everything!! Now he says I can't get a job because of my credit. Is that even possible?? I mean it's not like I did anything to deserve this and if I did could someone please tell me what I did?? I don't know what to do anymore. I want to move but I can't because I have no place to go. I want a better cell plan but my credit won't allow it. I really wish I knew what to do.

Just thought I'd post another journal entry before I go to bed. Well, life has gotten better since my last post. I got to spend 2 and a half days with my bf and his room mate, Haystack. We had a good time going out to dinner and just hanging around. I'll be putting some more apps in, after I wake up, at random places for a job. Hopefully it'll work this time and I'll get a response from one or some of them. Then, I guess I'll come back and play some WoW before my dad gets home and I have to deal with his sorry butt. Anyway, good night and sleep well!

I know this is my first entry in my journal and that's it's kinda sad and drama-ish but I've been meaning to make a new journal and today was the day I did it. I just haven't been feeling all that great. When dealing with my dad, the way he is and the way he thinks, it kinda makes you feel this way. And aside from having Dallas and my friends to go to, it's really hard trying to get my life back on track from what I originally had it back in Oklahoma. I'm just trying to get a job and start to live on my own with Dallas, but it's hard to do when your dad basically tells you that your not trying your hardest when every day your going out to several places, putting in job apps, trying to get a job, to come home and hear from his mouth that your worthless. It's starting to sound like that my dad is saying that the only way to make him proud is to off myself and I'm not going to do that because I have to much to live for! It doesn't help that I'm paying him 15% of each of my paychecks that I'll hopefully be getting soon to pay him for rent! At least he says it'll go toward everything, like food, net, cable, utilities, stuff like that. I just wish that he would say something else other than,"Your not trying hard enough", or,"When are you going to pay me?". *Sigh* Well, at least I have my boyfriend, Dallas, and my other friends to come to. I just hope it'll all get better soon. I really hope so...